I hate making hard decisions…

…but sometimes they just have to be made. I had postponed the inevitable for two weeks over Easter as when I broached the subject with David, he fell to pieces!

David has never really known what it is like to be a pet owner and animal lover. I have lived with animals all my life and though the end decision is difficult, it is one that every loving owner must face. You have to put aside your own heartache and the sadness and think of the animal. Are they in pain? Are they suffering?

I think Muzzy was!

RIP 6/2000 to 4/2014

RIP 6/2000 to 4/2014

She had been ailing for some time, had grown thin and her breathing had become erratic. As we don’t see Muzzy every day (my cats live with mum next door as they are too old to move into the new house), seeing Muzzy and her condition startled me! So today I knew I had to put my foot down and say ‘no’ to sentimentality! Enough was enough! ‘The cat comes first!’

We were booked in for 5pm at Adams Vets. We have been there many times before and they have always been kind and considerate. Today was no different.

David after work, drove us through a waterfall of his own tears. Mum and I went in and were given our own room to be with Muzzy before the vet came to see her. The vet was calm and listened to Muzzy’s heart. She said that there was fluid on the lungs and in her tummy, indicative of a failing heart! I had thought as much as we have seen it before in another one of our cats. His name was Jo and his death was horrific! It was something I did not want to see again!

The vet took Muzzy away for a catheter and when she came back, Muzzy was all wrapped up in a green blanket. I stroked Muzzy and kissed her head, whispering ‘she will be at peace soon.’ The vet injected the anaesthetic and in half a minute Muzzy’s head had slumped onto my arm and her chest had stopped rising. Mum was upset and I put on the ‘stiff upper lip’.

Home now and David is asleep on the couch, all the crying has spent his energy. I’ll probably have a cry later after a drink and a shower. I find that in these situations, it is always me that has to be the strong one and my emotions never come out as easily as they should.

I know Muzzy is at peace now, no more struggling for air. I think she has had a good innings with us. She was not a kitten when we got her. I was in another vets with a hamster in the summer of 2000 and someone brought Muzzy into the surgery saying ‘she was a stray and had been crying all day.’ I knew then that she would be part of my family. We asked the vet at the time if we could have her, and after a quick check up. I came home hamster-less but with a new addition to my ever growing cat family. Muzzy was with us for 14 years and I think she had a better life than if she was still a stray!

Love you lots Muzzy! xx

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Book of Mysteries.

The 30th October 2013 was my 37th birthday!

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I spent the evening mostly on my own (as David’s car was broken… something to do with the clutch and he was stuck at his mums!)

In the evening I wallowed in a hot bath, listened to Mozart, while reading William Shakespeare’s ‘Macbeth’ on my Kindle and sipping JP Chenet’s wine. Lordy I sound all cultured, but in reality I was just reading, listening to Classic FM and relaxing after a full dinner!

The day had started with a rush. I opened my birthday cards from my friends and family, said thank you to all the lovely birthday messages on my Facebook wall and then had to get the 79 bus into work to the Royal Liverpool Hospital. I must thank my boss, Julie for buying me a lovely Costa latte in the morning and later on that afternoon, shared with me a bottle of white, Stowell’s ‘colombard’ wine at a local pub. I think the pub was called ‘The Old Fort’?

I must say I smelled gorgeous all day as David had bought me a gift set of Thierry Mugler’s ‘Alien‘. I decided to not wear my ‘work’ clothes today and so I donned a favourite dress and my jacket. Work went fast enough. Julie and I worked on her report for the Royal and their compliance with the EU regulation on Safer Sharps. I really enjoyed typing the diction from Julie. I shall miss working with her when I finish work at the Royal Liverpool tomorrow. 😦

Getting home for 4pm, I opened my other presents from David’s family and marvelled at the delights. I got a lovely set of The Body Shop, White Musk fragrance and a Build a Bear ‘Red Panda!‘ called ‘Lily’. I was overjoyed!!!

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I ordered a curry, from Saffronmy favorite Indian restaurant in Liverpool! I requested the vegetable Shahi and my mum had the chicken Korma. Poor David was left at his mums and missed out on sharing my birthday with me… 😦

What made my night, was when the takeaway arrived, I was asked by name. I approached the front door and the delivery man (I don’t even know his name!) said, ‘happy birthday!’ He gave me a hug and said ‘thank you’ for all the lovely comments I post on their Just Eat account! The comments I feel are all justified as they cook some fantastic food!! He said I had free bhajis, popadoms and sauces with my order! I was quite overwhelmed and felt so appreciated as a customer! I love Saffron all the more!! 🙂

After gorging myself on hot, spicey food and pampering myself in fragrances, my mum wished me a ‘happy birthday’ and presented me with a cake. I think my cat Evie wanted to ‘gatecrash’ my birthday as she was prominent in the pictures. 🙂 lol.

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Even though I was at work for most of the day, hardly spent it with David. I feel blessed to have had the lovely messages from the people I cherish most ‘special in my life.’ I thank each and every one of you (you all know who you are!) for making me feel loved.

Christine xx